An interview

Where did we leave off? I am pretty tired, so my creative juices might not be flowing as freely as anticipated. As I sit in this office with the Tomminator across from me, listening to a internet router that is pretending it's a weed whacker on a mission of world grass domination, I wonder to myself... what is the greatest superhero up to now days? I cannot force a story from our beloved hero, but an update would be pending for sure.

The man, known only as Superhero, has agreed to sit down with me in an exclusive omg.blogspot.com interview. I had to sit outside the capitol house for 4 hours yesterday chanting his name as though my life depended on it in hopes he would answer... and answer he did:

Q: Hey superhero man, how have things been going?
A: Pretty good young little man. I am here to keep the homeless from bothering you downtown. That is my mission.

Q: That's cool. What can I call you? Superhero man is just so... 1970's.
A: You can call me Barter the Invisible Squatter and Homeless Thwarter.

Q: Alright Barter, what would you say is the hardest part of your job?
A: Hmmm... that would probably have to be when the homeless don't get enough quarters for their pimp and resort to other illegal means to obtain the necessary funds. Those are interesting days!

Q: Homeless have to answer to quarter pimps?
A: Oh yes, the quarter pimp business in Columbia is a strong economy. Millions of quarters passed through the hands of the homeless last year. Those quarters always end up in the hands of a pimp who circulates the quarters back out to their... well... employment, otherwise known as quarter hoes.

Q: Whoa, I did not know that... how you know the detailed, intricate working of quarter pimpage?
A: I cannot divulge that information at this time.

Q: K... would you say you used to be involved in the activities of the homeless before superheroing?
A: Umm... I mean... everyone has to start somewhere before they find their powers.

Q: Speaking of powers, how did you find that you could fly, turn invisible, and have super human strength?
A: Well, I was running around on the streets of Columbia one day and a dog started chasing me. I don't like dogs, so I started running as fast as I could. I wasn't watching where I was going and I tripped over a drunk guy laying in the street down at Five Points, I think he was a student at USC. Anyway, I went head first, with gravity guiding my fall, right towards the payment. At that moment, the greatest moment in my life, to my amazement I never hit the ground... instead I simply floated above it without any effort.

The dog chasing me got scared when it saw that... it took off running and the drunk college student laying on the street, well, lets just say he sobered up pretty quick when he saw me floating away smiling back at him.

A: Oh man, you scared that poor dog and that drunk college student didn't you? Let's change the topic, what do you think of the Governor and his latin love? I mean you live in the statehouse dome, you must hear things being discussed?
Q: I assure you the dog and the young man were alright, albeit startled, they are alright. The Governor... *Chuckles*, I believe the reporters refer to him as 'The LovGov'. *chuckles again*. Reporters are very clever and witty.

Regarding my thoughts on the situation, I believe if he keeps crime down, homeless off the street, and quarter pimps to a minimum, I could care less how he runs the state. Those are the topics that concern me. However, I can see where individuals would be upset if someone in government left the state, not letting anyone know where they were headed, for a 'fling' with someone in Argentina. On top if that, I'm sure it infuriates people in South Carolina that the Gov. used some taxpayer monies to do such adventurous and ill-conceived Commerce department negotiations.

As for overhearing 'dirt' on the Gov. while resting in the statehouse dome, I lay pretty high up. I can't hear much up there other than the occasional bird or cannon fire from the river.

Q: Well Barter, thanks for coming to visit me today, this interview has been most successful and I hope for future visits if at all possible.
A: Sure thing Jake, I do all I can to help. If you have more questions, just give me a call... you have my cell phone number.

Q: Sure do, I'll talk to you later Barter. Good luck out there saving those people who deserve to be saved!

Patience

Sigh, I suppose I should update this blog a bit... Haha, I'll do it during lunch if I feel up to it! Just thought I'd throw something on here for some happy good times.