Tuesday, December 22, 2009
World of Warcraft
I was thinking of starting P90X.. or at least getting it and trying it. I have never been one to 'stick' to a program. I tend to get bored quickly and need an ever changing atmosphere to keep my mind actively engaged. The reason I think P90X might be pretty good for me is it looks like it does just that, changes things up all the time. A problem I might have is that it is an 'at home' workout system where I have to workout... AT HOME. I don't know if I have the motivation to do such arduous workouts everyday, study for the CPA, work, and entertain Lindsay =P. It would be fun to try.
I would also need to buy and install a pull up bar. I've been looking at various kinds that attach to the door frame using leverage to support the weight of myself. I am skeptical of such devices even though they have been proven to work time and again. Additionally, I would need resistance bands and a few dumbbells to complete my collection. It sounds like an intense workout regime.
I'll be around.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
CPA
-Jake
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
An interview
The man, known only as Superhero, has agreed to sit down with me in an exclusive omg.blogspot.com interview. I had to sit outside the capitol house for 4 hours yesterday chanting his name as though my life depended on it in hopes he would answer... and answer he did:
Q: Hey superhero man, how have things been going?
A: Pretty good young little man. I am here to keep the homeless from bothering you downtown. That is my mission.
Q: That's cool. What can I call you? Superhero man is just so... 1970's.
A: You can call me Barter the Invisible Squatter and Homeless Thwarter.
Q: Alright Barter, what would you say is the hardest part of your job?
A: Hmmm... that would probably have to be when the homeless don't get enough quarters for their pimp and resort to other illegal means to obtain the necessary funds. Those are interesting days!
Q: Homeless have to answer to quarter pimps?
A: Oh yes, the quarter pimp business in Columbia is a strong economy. Millions of quarters passed through the hands of the homeless last year. Those quarters always end up in the hands of a pimp who circulates the quarters back out to their... well... employment, otherwise known as quarter hoes.
Q: Whoa, I did not know that... how you know the detailed, intricate working of quarter pimpage?
A: I cannot divulge that information at this time.
Q: K... would you say you used to be involved in the activities of the homeless before superheroing?
A: Umm... I mean... everyone has to start somewhere before they find their powers.
Q: Speaking of powers, how did you find that you could fly, turn invisible, and have super human strength?
A: Well, I was running around on the streets of Columbia one day and a dog started chasing me. I don't like dogs, so I started running as fast as I could. I wasn't watching where I was going and I tripped over a drunk guy laying in the street down at Five Points, I think he was a student at USC. Anyway, I went head first, with gravity guiding my fall, right towards the payment. At that moment, the greatest moment in my life, to my amazement I never hit the ground... instead I simply floated above it without any effort.
The dog chasing me got scared when it saw that... it took off running and the drunk college student laying on the street, well, lets just say he sobered up pretty quick when he saw me floating away smiling back at him.
A: Oh man, you scared that poor dog and that drunk college student didn't you? Let's change the topic, what do you think of the Governor and his latin love? I mean you live in the statehouse dome, you must hear things being discussed?
Q: I assure you the dog and the young man were alright, albeit startled, they are alright. The Governor... *Chuckles*, I believe the reporters refer to him as 'The LovGov'. *chuckles again*. Reporters are very clever and witty.
Regarding my thoughts on the situation, I believe if he keeps crime down, homeless off the street, and quarter pimps to a minimum, I could care less how he runs the state. Those are the topics that concern me. However, I can see where individuals would be upset if someone in government left the state, not letting anyone know where they were headed, for a 'fling' with someone in Argentina. On top if that, I'm sure it infuriates people in South Carolina that the Gov. used some taxpayer monies to do such adventurous and ill-conceived Commerce department negotiations.
As for overhearing 'dirt' on the Gov. while resting in the statehouse dome, I lay pretty high up. I can't hear much up there other than the occasional bird or cannon fire from the river.
Q: Well Barter, thanks for coming to visit me today, this interview has been most successful and I hope for future visits if at all possible.
A: Sure thing Jake, I do all I can to help. If you have more questions, just give me a call... you have my cell phone number.
Q: Sure do, I'll talk to you later Barter. Good luck out there saving those people who deserve to be saved!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Patience
Friday, July 24, 2009
Who?
The hero was on his knees, it was a dirty Columbia, SC sidewalk. There was a sting, a pain, where his knees met the concrete. The afternoon summer breeze brushed his hair out of his hazel eyes to reveal a stern look of determination. His thoughts raced as 10 men surrounded him, all with weapons of various types. The disaster occurred when a Columbia gang heard of the escapades of the caped crusader and decided that they would take matters into their own hands. They planned to kill the hero and turn his body over to the police to rid the filth and scum of Columbia of any type of authoritative threat. Their plan, so far, has worked perfectly. They lured the hero into an alley using a decoy mugging down Main street. When he entered this alley, he found that there was a chain roof and doors on all sides. He could not escape without damaging the buildings infrastructure, he had no desire to do such horrendous acts to the downtown residents and developers. "What is there to do?" He asked himself.
The gun in his mouth left him little freedom to speak. While our hero is strong, invisible, and can fly... he is not invincible. Surely a bullet out of a Desert Eagle .50 caliber, fired at point blank range would put a damper on his weekend. As he kneeled there in that dark, damp, unforgiving alley, he began to recolect his life and the all the events that had led up to that moment. "We truly are left to our decisions and they define our future." He thought earnstly.
The events of his life leading up to this situation have been naught with peril and decit. Ever since he was a small boy, at the age of 11, he had been very strong. The kids at the playground used to have him throw them into the lake adjacent to their school. He had to be careful not to throw them over the lake, they did not weigh anything to him. He saw it as a challenge and as a way to earn acceptance into their friendship. Little did he know, throwing kids 200 feet into the middle of a lake was not an ideal way to merit their friendship. Brushy Creek elementary school in upstate New York was a small school, only several hundred kids played there during the week while their parents were at various business functions. The faculty there, unforgiving as they were, did understand the need for acceptance, but upon hearing of our hero launching kids into the middle of a lake, they took immediate action. The school expelled our hero and his gifted ways. His parents decided to home school the child due to his gifts.
As the hero grew, so did his powers and his strengths. His parents made sure he developed those strengths on the privacy of their farm land in Boonville on the edge of the Adirondack Park Preserve. They had him lift whole oak trees out of the ground, move boulders the size of cars and even one the size of a small house, and use his intuition to escape various obstacles and design various traps. His parents were proud. They were simple people, not to in tune with the world around them, always in thought, always learning. Their use of computers was non-existant, their knowledge of TV was limited to the 6 local channels that aired the same shows nightly, and their excitement was contained by a knowledge that their son was not normal. How could they get excited about a child at the age of 13 who could destroy the world they knew with a 100 foot tree trunk?
At the age of 16 a strange and exciting new development took place. The cliffs to the side of their property overlooking Kayuta Lake were used by the boy to judge distance, conqueror his fear of heights, and provide a good place to ponder lifes unknowns. This particular day was different. Our hero's fear of heights was tested when an eagle scared him off the cliff some 400 feet down. He slammed into the rocky wall thinking, "This is it, my death will come at the age of 16". As he tumbled toward the pristine blue, 45 degree water, he felt himself slowing till finally, about 50 feet from the surface of his doom, he stopped falling. He opened his eyes to find himself hovering, floating on what first looked like nothing at all. He examined his surrounding, looking up gave him a sense of the situation he was in and how far he had fallen. Oh, his heart was pounding, he adrenaline had been kicked into overdrive, his senses were extraordinary. "How is this possible?" he thinks to himself quietly as he floats above the icy waters.
These things he thought briefly as he came back to reality. The gun in his mouth tasted of cold steel, the kind of taste after you lick frost off a metal object. The 10 men surrounding him deciding his fate, were undoubtly wicked. Our hero began to develop a method of escape from the clutches of death. His brain worked blazingly fast, the neurons firing saw a small 6" bolt lying on the concrete 14 feet behind his captives. The brick walls and metal grate installed above him were his bain. He noticed that the man holding the weapon in his mouth would occassionally look towards his assalants trying to figure out what their plans. "This is my opportunity" he though silently.
Next time that man looked away, the hero was off his knees in action. He grabbed the gun, bent the tip of the barrel and pushed the man back into the group breaking his sternum and 6 ribs, knocking them all down. He immediately turned invisible. The assalants were amazed for a splint moment, but immediately terrified of what they had just witnessed. "What kind of voodoo and magic does this guy have!?" one guy screamed with a trembling voice. Our hero, oh, he was not good to these men. He took each gang member's weapon and broke it in half. He toyed with their fragile, undeveloped minds. "You have come here to kill me. Your hesitation and bickering have led to your downfall" he whispers in a voice filled of power and anger. He told them all the things he could do, his powers, his training, his years of depatching vermin such as themselves for far lesser crimes. The fear that engripped the hearts of these men was profound. All 10 men were trembling upon every word spoken by our hero. After torturing the men for over an hour with taunts and taking breaking their weapons. He appeared behind them. "I think it is time you turned yourself into the police" he said without hesitation. The men turned, slowly, as to not anger the creature they fear anymore. "If you do not turn yourself into the police, I will find you, and I... will turn you into the police myself" said our hero with a smirk on his face. All 10 men went running for the alley door, soon to find themselves in a police station telling their story.
Our hero, smiled at what had just transpired. Part of his life flashed before his eyes. He was thankful it was the part of his life that was not haunting his future. Standing in that alley, our hero turned invisible yet again and flew to the Dome of his residence. He has done a good deed today. 10 men were saved from a life full of wickedness. His good deeds this day will trigger some more of his past. Hopefully, the next few days of his life won't be his last.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The Hero awakens...
As he steps to the edge of the dome, dawning his favorite red cap and green leotards, a sight catches his eye. "What is that in the distance... an individual in distress!?" he says to himself. He immediately turns invisible so that the guests of the state house grounds will not be bothered by the likes of him. He flys, invisible, from the dome down main street to Blanding street, where a mugger has recently aquired a possession that did not belong to himself. BOOM! POW! KABOW! There is only darkness in the mind of the mugger, unable to see the hero, unable to catch him, it looks as though he is beating himself up. Down goes the mugger, the street is so warm in the afternoon sun, the breeze gently blows down Blanding street towards Assembly street where the sound of wooshing cars brings back memories for the unfortunate mugger.
The hero drops his invisibility to reveal an ordinary looking man, dressed in a business suit, holding the purse that was snatched from the helpless, elderly woman. He walks over to her, hands her the purse and bids her farewell. In his departure, he called an ambulance for the mugger, just in case he knew not the bounds of his strength. He never intentionally means to hurt evil people, though, it does happen if such means are necessary. He ducks into an alley... turns invisible again and flys up to the Dome of the state house. Ever vigilant, he keeps watch over the city and the patrons of downtown Columbia, SC. His senses are keen, alert, and ready for more action. Shall his deeds never be discarded, shall they never be a second thought... little does he know, by the police he is sought.
Monday, July 13, 2009
A Story
His favorite part of the entire day is seeing the Chic-fil-a Cow walk, drive, and even scooter down main street. He gets such a tickle out of that cow, a guffaw is heard from the dome of the capital. The wide-eyed children and their chaperones look anxiously upon the dome to discover little. They talk amongst themselves, "What is up there I wonder?" one little boy says. "I don't know, but whatever it is, I hope it is friendly" says a frightened little girl. The hero, knowing the error of his guffaw, should have been further reserved to not let out such a laugh. His prior experience has led to many people taking gaze upon such white marble with curiousity and wonder.
As he settles down for the night, the hero thinks to himself, I feel so alone, "Why can't I find a hero woman to settle down with and have little hero babies?" His question was only answered by darkness. He hung his heavy head and crawled into his blue satin sheet, king sized bed... hero's need their rest too you know. Until another night has came and went shall I reveal more secrets from where they are sent.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Washington D.C.
1. White House
2. Capitol Building
3. Washington Monument
4. National Museum of American History
5. National Museum of Natural History
6. Arlington Cemetery
7. 4th of July Parade down Constitution Ave.
8. Fireworks over the Washington Monument
Those are a few of the things we saw. It was exciting, exhilarating, and adventurous. It was crazy... pushing people off the Metro after the 4th of July fireworks, trying a footlong hotdog, drinking Sangria at a sculpture garden sitting under some trees, and just getting in the massive crowds of people that turned out at the event.
There was a TON of police at this thing, I've never seen so many police. OMG. Anyway, it was a good time. Thanks to Lark (who is awesome BTW) for showing us around and being patient with my jokes and confusions.
Oh yeah, I found a chicken penne pasta dish that is better than Olive Garden. Never knew that could happen. I don't remember the place I tasted it at... it was a mediterranean place. Man, it was amazing.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The LIST..OMG
I have until March 28, 2012 to finish the list... nothing really bad happens if I don't get it finished, but, it'd be nice to get it finished. A sense of accomplishment!
Linsday and I leave for Washington D.C. tomorrow. Other than the White House and The Capitol, other museums, exhibits, random fun times are just optional additions to having a fun, relaxed, worry-free visit to the Capitol. Oh yeah, maybe some fireworks on Saturday Night (Might be a long night).
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Hackery Wilson
Hickery dickery dock:
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran down!
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The bird looked at the clock,
The clock struck two 2,
Away she flew,
Hickory Dickory Dock
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The dog barked at the clock,
The clock struck three 3,
Fiddle-de-dee,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The bear slept by the clock,
The clock struck four 4,
He ran out the door,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The bee buzzed round the clock,
The clock struck five 5,
She went to her hive,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The hen pecked at the clock,
The clock struck six 6,
Oh, fiddle-sticks,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The cat ran round the clock,
The clock struck seven 7,
She wanted to get 'em,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The horse jumped over the clock,
The clock struck eight 8,
He ate some cake,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The cow danced on the clock,
The clock struck nine 9,
She felt so fine,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The pig oinked at the clock,
The clock struck ten 10,
She did it again,
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The duck quacked at the clock
The clock struck eleven 11,
The duck said 'oh heavens!'
Hickory Dickory Dock!
Hickory Dickory Dock,
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck noon
He's here too soon!
Hickory Dickory Dock!
What kind of nursery rhythm is this thing. It's crazy...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Washington D.C.
If it's raining... we will still see everything, we will just be soaked doing so. That'd be thoroughly entertaining!
I have updated my weekly list from Lindsay to the right. Last week, I failed on 9 of the 15 things. $9 gone forever! OMG. There are a few repeats on this weeks list: Vacuum the apartment, take prilosec every day, etc. I have to hug lark... LOL (I hope she likes hugs?).
Straight Bumpin'
Edit: Oh yeah, the list to the left must be finalized by Wednesday (July 1). That is when the 101 things in 1001 days begins! I hope to cross off Washington D.C. First! OMG.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
All the movies to have won Best Picture:
| 1928 – Wings, Sunrise |
| 1929 – The Broadway Melody |
| 1930 – All Quiet on the Western Front |
| 1931 – Cimarro |
| 1932 – Grand Hotel |
| 1933 – Cavalcade |
| 1934 - It Happened One Night |
| 1935 – Mutiny on the Bounty |
| 1936 – The Great Ziegfeld |
| 1937 – The Life of Émile Zola |
| 1938 – You Can’t Take It With You |
| 1939 – Gone with the Wind |
| 1940 – Rebecca |
| 1941 – How Green Was My Valley |
| 1942 – Mrs. Miniver |
| 1943 – Casablanca |
| 1944 – Going My Way |
| 1945 – The Lost Weekend |
| 1946 – The Best Years of Our Lives |
| 1947 – Gentleman’s Agreement |
| 1948 – Hamlet |
| 1949 – All the King’s Men |
| 1950 – All about Eve |
| 1951 – An American in Paris |
| 1952 – The Greatest Show on Earth |
| 1953 – From Here to Eternity |
| 1954 – On the Waterfront |
| 1955 – Marty |
| 1956 – Around the World in 80 Days |
| 1957 – The Bridge on the River Kwai |
| 1958 – Gigi |
| 1959 – Ben-Hur |
| 1960 – The Apartment |
| 1961 – West Side Story |
| 1962 – Lawrence of Arabia |
| 1963 – Tom Jones |
| 1964 – My Fair Lady |
| 1965 – The Sound of Music |
| 1966 – A Man for All Seasons |
| 1967 – In the Heat of the Night |
| 1968 – Oliver! |
| 1969 – Midnight Cowboy |
| 1970 – Patton |
| 1971 – The French Connection |
| 1972 – The Godfather |
| 1973 – The Sting |
| 1974 – The Godfather Part II |
| 1975 – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest |
| 1976 – Rocky |
| 1977 – Annie Hall |
| 1978 – The Deer Hunter |
| 1979 – Kramer vs. Kramer |
| 1980 – Ordinary People |
| 1981 – Chariots of Fire |
| 1982 – Gandhi |
| 1983 – Terms of Endearment |
| 1984 – Amadeus |
| 1985 – Out of Africa |
| 1986 – Platoon |
| 1987 – The Last Emperor |
| 1988 – Rain Man |
| 1989 – Driving Miss Daisy |
| 1990 - Dances With Wolves |
| 1991 – The Silence of the Lambs |
| 1992 - Unforgiven |
| 1993 – Schindler’s List |
| 1994 – Forrest Gump |
| 1995 – Braveheart |
| 1996 – The English Patient |
| 1997 – Titanic |
| 1998 – Shakespeare in Love |
| 1999 – American Beauty |
| 2000 – Gladiator |
| 2001 – A Beautiful Mind |
| 2002 – Chicago |
| 2003 – The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King |
| 2004 – Million Dollar Baby |
| 2005 – Crash |
| 2006 – The Departed |
| 2007 – No Country for Old Men |
| 2008 – Slumdog Millionaire |
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
List to the left... WTF.
For every goal completed, I will put 5$ in a saving account to use when the end of the 2.75 years has come to pass. = $505.00.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
101 things in 1001 days
"The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities." - www.DayZeroProject.com
I'm going to try to add a 'day counter' on this blog at some point, but who knows what will happen with that.
For the Week starting 6/15/09: I have until Sunday night at 12:00 am to complete the activities, or I owe a $1.
(BTW, Orange = completed)
1. Finish reading your book.
2. Blog 4 times this week.
3. Check out a new book (of your choice) to read from the library. Must be at least 200 pages long.
4. Part your hair on the other side one morning and go to work like that.
5. Go to Subway for lunch and get something other than Roast Beef with Provolone (different meat AND different cheese)... preferably a sub you have never had before.
6. For one hour on two different days this week, do not pick at or bite your fingernails. Leave them completely alone.
7. For 72 hours, drink nothing other than water. (Protein shakes will be acceptable.)
8. Climb a tree. (Please don't fall out!)
9. Hula hoop. (I think there is one of these in my coat closet.)
10. Buy a pair of funny socks.
11. Ask someone at work (other than me or Dustin) if they need a hand, and then give them a photo copy of your hand.
12. Write me a letter in some kinda code and mail it to me. Supply the code key separately later.
13. Lay out by the pool and/or swim for at least one hour.
14. Color a picture for me to hang on my fridge.
15. Let me teach you to knit.
And, here we go! YAY!
Friday, June 12, 2009
P.S. I miss you.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Question of the day... If you pwned a bitch and no one was around, did you really pwn a bitch?
To Lindsay: Thank you for the past almost 5 months and the enjoyment it has brought me. The challenges we've faced, the fun times we've had (table rock), and the bitches we've pwned. May these fantastic times continue to make their way into our lives for the better. Until I see you again, which is hopefully soon... specially cause you are supposed to be at work, <3.
P.S. you weren't separated at birth, Taylor Swift doesn't have anything compared to you. FEARLESS FEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESSFEARLESS
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
First, a problem:
2379
5649
4508
9782
4627
2843
Which number is the odd one out in this collection?
Second, http://personalmba.com/ is the website I am using to read (slowly but surely) the books that 'make me a better person'.
Third, http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1809858,00.html is a list of the top 50 websites of 2008. Very nice list.
Fourth, http://hundredpushups.com/index.html is what I'm using to try and achieve 100 consecutive pushups. Started on Week 3.
So, as I write this profound knowledge and share it with select people. I have to ask myself a question: Why? I don't believe there is an easy explanation. But, if I had to give an explanation, it would be that I am looking for 'more'. Looking to better myself through a series of writings, limericks (workin on these), or some other type of activity that makes my life, health, happiness, peace of mind, and any other type of well-being more productive and successful. If you have any more ideas as to what more I can do to make myself a better person (beside get more sleep =P), feel free to comment on those 'discoveries'.
Until next time, which won't be long cause I need to write in this thing alot more often. Sigh, I need to work on my grammar and vocabulary too. UGH.
Jake
Friday, May 22, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Awesome site: www.oddee.com
-Jake

