HMM...

Well, it does not look as though I have posted on this blog in a while. It has been a neglected memory from my past only to serve as the resting place for the superhero of Columbia, SC.

Perhaps I shall chance to write upon this blog from time to time in order to update my status and what not.

World of Warcraft

Well... I have given up my World of Warcraft addiction. As of December 16, I no longer have an active account and can't even log onto WoW. It feels somewhat liberating, but at the same time I need another hobby to fill the copious amounts of free time that I will now have. In walks the CPA exam... I'm sure that exam will keep me busy for a few months.

I was thinking of starting P90X.. or at least getting it and trying it. I have never been one to 'stick' to a program. I tend to get bored quickly and need an ever changing atmosphere to keep my mind actively engaged. The reason I think P90X might be pretty good for me is it looks like it does just that, changes things up all the time. A problem I might have is that it is an 'at home' workout system where I have to workout... AT HOME. I don't know if I have the motivation to do such arduous workouts everyday, study for the CPA, work, and entertain Lindsay =P. It would be fun to try.

I would also need to buy and install a pull up bar. I've been looking at various kinds that attach to the door frame using leverage to support the weight of myself. I am skeptical of such devices even though they have been proven to work time and again. Additionally, I would need resistance bands and a few dumbbells to complete my collection. It sounds like an intense workout regime.

I'll be around.

CPA

And... it has begun. I mailed off my CPA application to take the BEC portion of the CPA. I was thinking of taking it in January some time. I should be studying quite a bit for it. I am NOT looking forward to such studying. Until later, wish me luck in studying!

-Jake

An interview

Where did we leave off? I am pretty tired, so my creative juices might not be flowing as freely as anticipated. As I sit in this office with the Tomminator across from me, listening to a internet router that is pretending it's a weed whacker on a mission of world grass domination, I wonder to myself... what is the greatest superhero up to now days? I cannot force a story from our beloved hero, but an update would be pending for sure.

The man, known only as Superhero, has agreed to sit down with me in an exclusive omg.blogspot.com interview. I had to sit outside the capitol house for 4 hours yesterday chanting his name as though my life depended on it in hopes he would answer... and answer he did:

Q: Hey superhero man, how have things been going?
A: Pretty good young little man. I am here to keep the homeless from bothering you downtown. That is my mission.

Q: That's cool. What can I call you? Superhero man is just so... 1970's.
A: You can call me Barter the Invisible Squatter and Homeless Thwarter.

Q: Alright Barter, what would you say is the hardest part of your job?
A: Hmmm... that would probably have to be when the homeless don't get enough quarters for their pimp and resort to other illegal means to obtain the necessary funds. Those are interesting days!

Q: Homeless have to answer to quarter pimps?
A: Oh yes, the quarter pimp business in Columbia is a strong economy. Millions of quarters passed through the hands of the homeless last year. Those quarters always end up in the hands of a pimp who circulates the quarters back out to their... well... employment, otherwise known as quarter hoes.

Q: Whoa, I did not know that... how you know the detailed, intricate working of quarter pimpage?
A: I cannot divulge that information at this time.

Q: K... would you say you used to be involved in the activities of the homeless before superheroing?
A: Umm... I mean... everyone has to start somewhere before they find their powers.

Q: Speaking of powers, how did you find that you could fly, turn invisible, and have super human strength?
A: Well, I was running around on the streets of Columbia one day and a dog started chasing me. I don't like dogs, so I started running as fast as I could. I wasn't watching where I was going and I tripped over a drunk guy laying in the street down at Five Points, I think he was a student at USC. Anyway, I went head first, with gravity guiding my fall, right towards the payment. At that moment, the greatest moment in my life, to my amazement I never hit the ground... instead I simply floated above it without any effort.

The dog chasing me got scared when it saw that... it took off running and the drunk college student laying on the street, well, lets just say he sobered up pretty quick when he saw me floating away smiling back at him.

A: Oh man, you scared that poor dog and that drunk college student didn't you? Let's change the topic, what do you think of the Governor and his latin love? I mean you live in the statehouse dome, you must hear things being discussed?
Q: I assure you the dog and the young man were alright, albeit startled, they are alright. The Governor... *Chuckles*, I believe the reporters refer to him as 'The LovGov'. *chuckles again*. Reporters are very clever and witty.

Regarding my thoughts on the situation, I believe if he keeps crime down, homeless off the street, and quarter pimps to a minimum, I could care less how he runs the state. Those are the topics that concern me. However, I can see where individuals would be upset if someone in government left the state, not letting anyone know where they were headed, for a 'fling' with someone in Argentina. On top if that, I'm sure it infuriates people in South Carolina that the Gov. used some taxpayer monies to do such adventurous and ill-conceived Commerce department negotiations.

As for overhearing 'dirt' on the Gov. while resting in the statehouse dome, I lay pretty high up. I can't hear much up there other than the occasional bird or cannon fire from the river.

Q: Well Barter, thanks for coming to visit me today, this interview has been most successful and I hope for future visits if at all possible.
A: Sure thing Jake, I do all I can to help. If you have more questions, just give me a call... you have my cell phone number.

Q: Sure do, I'll talk to you later Barter. Good luck out there saving those people who deserve to be saved!

Patience

Sigh, I suppose I should update this blog a bit... Haha, I'll do it during lunch if I feel up to it! Just thought I'd throw something on here for some happy good times.

Who?

While I am tired and while it is 8:00 AM, my efforts to write about our masked crusader have not been met with a brick wall. The morning has proven useful.

The hero was on his knees, it was a dirty Columbia, SC sidewalk. There was a sting, a pain, where his knees met the concrete. The afternoon summer breeze brushed his hair out of his hazel eyes to reveal a stern look of determination. His thoughts raced as 10 men surrounded him, all with weapons of various types. The disaster occurred when a Columbia gang heard of the escapades of the caped crusader and decided that they would take matters into their own hands. They planned to kill the hero and turn his body over to the police to rid the filth and scum of Columbia of any type of authoritative threat. Their plan, so far, has worked perfectly. They lured the hero into an alley using a decoy mugging down Main street. When he entered this alley, he found that there was a chain roof and doors on all sides. He could not escape without damaging the buildings infrastructure, he had no desire to do such horrendous acts to the downtown residents and developers. "What is there to do?" He asked himself.

The gun in his mouth left him little freedom to speak. While our hero is strong, invisible, and can fly... he is not invincible. Surely a bullet out of a Desert Eagle .50 caliber, fired at point blank range would put a damper on his weekend. As he kneeled there in that dark, damp, unforgiving alley, he began to recolect his life and the all the events that had led up to that moment. "We truly are left to our decisions and they define our future." He thought earnstly.

The events of his life leading up to this situation have been naught with peril and decit. Ever since he was a small boy, at the age of 11, he had been very strong. The kids at the playground used to have him throw them into the lake adjacent to their school. He had to be careful not to throw them over the lake, they did not weigh anything to him. He saw it as a challenge and as a way to earn acceptance into their friendship. Little did he know, throwing kids 200 feet into the middle of a lake was not an ideal way to merit their friendship. Brushy Creek elementary school in upstate New York was a small school, only several hundred kids played there during the week while their parents were at various business functions. The faculty there, unforgiving as they were, did understand the need for acceptance, but upon hearing of our hero launching kids into the middle of a lake, they took immediate action. The school expelled our hero and his gifted ways. His parents decided to home school the child due to his gifts.

As the hero grew, so did his powers and his strengths. His parents made sure he developed those strengths on the privacy of their farm land in Boonville on the edge of the Adirondack Park Preserve. They had him lift whole oak trees out of the ground, move boulders the size of cars and even one the size of a small house, and use his intuition to escape various obstacles and design various traps. His parents were proud. They were simple people, not to in tune with the world around them, always in thought, always learning. Their use of computers was non-existant, their knowledge of TV was limited to the 6 local channels that aired the same shows nightly, and their excitement was contained by a knowledge that their son was not normal. How could they get excited about a child at the age of 13 who could destroy the world they knew with a 100 foot tree trunk?

At the age of 16 a strange and exciting new development took place. The cliffs to the side of their property overlooking Kayuta Lake were used by the boy to judge distance, conqueror his fear of heights, and provide a good place to ponder lifes unknowns. This particular day was different. Our hero's fear of heights was tested when an eagle scared him off the cliff some 400 feet down. He slammed into the rocky wall thinking, "This is it, my death will come at the age of 16". As he tumbled toward the pristine blue, 45 degree water, he felt himself slowing till finally, about 50 feet from the surface of his doom, he stopped falling. He opened his eyes to find himself hovering, floating on what first looked like nothing at all. He examined his surrounding, looking up gave him a sense of the situation he was in and how far he had fallen. Oh, his heart was pounding, he adrenaline had been kicked into overdrive, his senses were extraordinary. "How is this possible?" he thinks to himself quietly as he floats above the icy waters.

These things he thought briefly as he came back to reality. The gun in his mouth tasted of cold steel, the kind of taste after you lick frost off a metal object. The 10 men surrounding him deciding his fate, were undoubtly wicked. Our hero began to develop a method of escape from the clutches of death. His brain worked blazingly fast, the neurons firing saw a small 6" bolt lying on the concrete 14 feet behind his captives. The brick walls and metal grate installed above him were his bain. He noticed that the man holding the weapon in his mouth would occassionally look towards his assalants trying to figure out what their plans. "This is my opportunity" he though silently.

Next time that man looked away, the hero was off his knees in action. He grabbed the gun, bent the tip of the barrel and pushed the man back into the group breaking his sternum and 6 ribs, knocking them all down. He immediately turned invisible. The assalants were amazed for a splint moment, but immediately terrified of what they had just witnessed. "What kind of voodoo and magic does this guy have!?" one guy screamed with a trembling voice. Our hero, oh, he was not good to these men. He took each gang member's weapon and broke it in half. He toyed with their fragile, undeveloped minds. "You have come here to kill me. Your hesitation and bickering have led to your downfall" he whispers in a voice filled of power and anger. He told them all the things he could do, his powers, his training, his years of depatching vermin such as themselves for far lesser crimes. The fear that engripped the hearts of these men was profound. All 10 men were trembling upon every word spoken by our hero. After torturing the men for over an hour with taunts and taking breaking their weapons. He appeared behind them. "I think it is time you turned yourself into the police" he said without hesitation. The men turned, slowly, as to not anger the creature they fear anymore. "If you do not turn yourself into the police, I will find you, and I... will turn you into the police myself" said our hero with a smirk on his face. All 10 men went running for the alley door, soon to find themselves in a police station telling their story.

Our hero, smiled at what had just transpired. Part of his life flashed before his eyes. He was thankful it was the part of his life that was not haunting his future. Standing in that alley, our hero turned invisible yet again and flew to the Dome of his residence. He has done a good deed today. 10 men were saved from a life full of wickedness. His good deeds this day will trigger some more of his past. Hopefully, the next few days of his life won't be his last.

The Hero awakens...

The hero sits up in his over sized, luxurious bed thinking to himself, "What is there to do today?" As he contemplates his daily activities, he looks upward at the inside of the dome. It is magnificent. A single tear is drawn to the inside of his eye at the thought of building such a monumental structure. Outside, he hears the laughter of children and the business talk of representatives trying to secure the future of their constituents. He yawns. He jumps out of bed, alert, ready to take on the world. Little does he know, he will be tested today by a foe so great, so diabolical, that all other heroes before him perished in the heat of battle.

As he steps to the edge of the dome, dawning his favorite red cap and green leotards, a sight catches his eye. "What is that in the distance... an individual in distress!?" he says to himself. He immediately turns invisible so that the guests of the state house grounds will not be bothered by the likes of him. He flys, invisible, from the dome down main street to Blanding street, where a mugger has recently aquired a possession that did not belong to himself. BOOM! POW! KABOW! There is only darkness in the mind of the mugger, unable to see the hero, unable to catch him, it looks as though he is beating himself up. Down goes the mugger, the street is so warm in the afternoon sun, the breeze gently blows down Blanding street towards Assembly street where the sound of wooshing cars brings back memories for the unfortunate mugger.

The hero drops his invisibility to reveal an ordinary looking man, dressed in a business suit, holding the purse that was snatched from the helpless, elderly woman. He walks over to her, hands her the purse and bids her farewell. In his departure, he called an ambulance for the mugger, just in case he knew not the bounds of his strength. He never intentionally means to hurt evil people, though, it does happen if such means are necessary. He ducks into an alley... turns invisible again and flys up to the Dome of the state house. Ever vigilant, he keeps watch over the city and the patrons of downtown Columbia, SC. His senses are keen, alert, and ready for more action. Shall his deeds never be discarded, shall they never be a second thought... little does he know, by the police he is sought.